


Cultural Exchange

by Makizushi



Series: Friendship is Magic (But Magic is Bullshit) [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Canon-Typical Douchebaggery - All Characters, Homestuck Kink Meme, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, No Rape/Non-Con Depicted, Rescue, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-23
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-03-08 18:58:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3219839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makizushi/pseuds/Makizushi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the kink meme: "Cronus tries to rape Kankri but Porrim saves the day."</p><p>Cronus generously tries to share his culture by teaching Kankri about human style friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cultural Exchange

**Author's Note:**

> [Tsunamayo Makizushi's Writing Tumblr](http://tsunamayo-makizushi.tumblr.com)

Things were going well for Kankri lately. Death could be incredibly monotonous, but there was no reason to stop developing as a person simply because one had ceased being alive. That conclusion had been reached after many, many days spent meditating on the specter of living privilege and the difficult task of overcoming his internalized death shaming. Laying the groundwork for an in-depth explorative essay on the issue had consumed most of his time recently.

Even the periodic interruptions to his work had taken on a pleasant tone. Whereas he used to be plagued with near-weekly gibberish sessions with the ungracefully intellectually compromised Mituna, recently Cronus had been coming around to discuss his budding identity issues. Mituna had subsequently made himself scarce despite his and Cronus' long and steadfast friendship. Kankri did not think to question Cronus on the matter. He was simply grateful to have a conversation partner interested in discussing such a deeply worthwhile topic.

When last they spoke Kankri had encouraged Cronus in his efforts to research and emulate human cultural norms. A cursory glance at human-produced media evidenced significant sociological differences between Beforans and Earthlings. Surely some of Cronus' human-kin related dysphoria could be alleviated by forging connections between himself and his human brethren. He had already altered his style of dress to conform to the so-called “greaser” subculture he seemed to have a particular affinity with.

There were, of course, some hiccups and snags along the way that Kankri was committed to accompanying Cronus through. For instance, Cronus clearly felt it was important to engage in human hobbies and pastimes such as music composition. To support and encourage this Kankri often found himself listening to hours of songs about human mono-quadrant sexual desire. Some human identity signifiers also troubled him. Though Cronus had refrained from actually igniting and inhaling carcinogenic substances from his filtered paper tobacco cylinder, its constant presence in his mouth struck Kankri as distasteful and unsanitary.

Ultimately, though, it was not his place to criticize or condemn other cultures, especially one that to the best of his knowledge suffered great oppression under the rule of Meenah's alternate universe doppelganger. In an effort to respect Cronus and his human-kin identity – and to guard against any possibility of cultural appropriation – Kankri refrained from delving very deeply into human matters. There were already trolls like Aranea running around appropriating Alternian culture as though it were hers to do with as she pleased. People should not go around idealizing cultures they knew next to nothing about. That Signless character proved what an ill-formed and misguided idea that was. To think an alternate version of him could be so deeply mistaken as to ignore the glaringly obvious problems with Beforan society and use visions of it to establish a rebellion. The whole thing was preposterous, even if he had made some token positive impact.

Kankri was ruminating on the dangers of over-enthusiastic cultural interaction when he heard a smart tap on the door to his room. He turned away from his husktop and felt a brief flash of irritation. Porrim was very early and he had not even asked for the new sweater she was attempting to foist on him. Kankri understood that jade-minding was ingrained in trolls like her, and that she was hardly able to ignore her natural inclinations, but it was quite inconvenient for more logically minded people. However, his door opened on its own to reveal Cronus slouched against the door frame.

“You know, there is no point to knocking if you are simply going to barge in anyway. But since you are already here you might as well come in.” Cronus swept in with a grin on his face, casually knocking the door mostly closed behind him while Kankri muttered about “consent” and “cannot just assume” to himself.

“Well maybe I just won’t knock next time, if it bothers you so much.” Kankri practically swelled with indignation and prepared to unleash a full scale lecture on consent, safe space, and extrovert privilege, but Cronus quickly headed him off. “What ‘cha working on here chief?” He peered at Kankri’s husktop over his shoulder, his hands resting on the back of Kankri’s chair. “It looks super interesting and important.”

“ _Actually_ before you interrupted me I was thinking about human culture and identity. I can see you are wearing your human garments so I hope you will forgive me for assuming the topic still holds your interest. Have a seat and I will tell you about it.”

Kankri reached to close his husktop and Cronus caught his hand. “What, I don’t even get a hug?”

“Ah. That is.” He looked at his hand in Cronus’ grasp. “You know I do not really do touching. I am sure I have explained. Previously. About that.” Cronus let go of Kankri’s hand and held up his own in a placating manner.

“Hey yeah, no problem bro. I just thought, what with you being so supportive of my human-kin identity and all, you’d want to help me with my human mannerisms. Humans always hug when they greet a friend, it’s a culture thing.”

Kankri sighed and stood up from his chair. “Well, I suppose that is fine, if it is your cultural norm.” He opened his arms awkwardly and Cronus enveloped him in a close embrace. Hands pressed between his shoulder blades and into his lower back, while his own gingerly wrapped around Cronus’ waist. The hug went on for rather longer than Kankri had anticipated, but before he could feel trapped Cronus drew back, dragging his hands up Kankri’s back to rest on his shoulders.

“Thanks. You’re a pal.” Something odd was happening with Cronus’ face. He grinned with sincerity, but there was something almost predatory about the way his eyes flicked briefly to Kankri’s neck.

“So!” He slid his arm around Kankri’s hunched shoulder. “Tell me what you were thinking about human stuff. You’re always a great help.” He was guided to the couch and they both plopped down together, Kankri still slightly off balance from all of the physical intimacy.

“Well, I am always learning new things too. I was not aware that humans were quite so tactile for one.” He pointedly scooted a few inches away, though with Cronus’ arm across the back of the couch there was not much space for him to work with.

“Don’t be like that, chief. How am I supposed to feel comfortable with my human self if you make me act like a troll, huh? I need to be able to express myself.” That made Kankri feel a bit guilty for his cultural insensitivity, though he supposed that incompatibilities were likely to occur more frequently now that Cronus was taking his human-kin identity to the next level. If anyone could be the understanding, culturally competent troll it was Kankri. Basically no one else in this strange post-universe afterlife had the knowledge or even the inclination to be open and sensitive to the needs of others.

“I apologize if I triggered your dysphoria with my actions; it was not my intention to make you feel you had to act like a troll in my presence. Of course I endeavor to be a safe space where people can feel comfortable being their true selves. Please call out my behavior in the future if I should happen to make further mistakes.”

Cronus smiled gratefully and settled back into the couch cushions. “Yeah, no problem. No problem at all.”

Kankri launched into his ~~lecture~~ explanation of cultural appropriation and the dilemmas he faced in trying to accompany Cronus through his discovery process without unintentionally doing more harm than good. Throughout Cronus seemed highly engaged and interested in what he was saying. He leaned into Kankri’s words and occasionally nodded knowingly at a particularly salient point. In fact, they were both so engaged in the topic of conversation that Kankri (and presumably Cronus) had not even noticed they were practically hip to hip until Cronus turned and laughed into Kankri’s neck.

“You know, it’s just so good to talk to someone who understands what all of this is like.” Kankri was startled into silence at this burst of friendly human affection. Cronus carefully removed his human tobacco cylinder from his mouth and looked into Kankri’s face. “You’re a good friend.”

“Well, thank you. I mean of course I try to be as the spiritual leader of our group. It is…” But what it was trickled out of Kankri’s mind as Cronus leaned over him and snaked a hand into his hair. Kankri’s pupil-less eyes widened and he attempted to jump out of his seat, only to be pulled back down when Cronus’ hand fell to his shoulder.

“Hey, where you goin'?” He leaned in, opposite hand going to Kankri’s hip. “I thought we really had a connection going there. I’m just trying to be friendly.”

“What?! Um, no, this does not feel very friendly and I would like to get up now.” Cronus nuzzled his face into the side of Kankri’s neck again and shifted his position so he was practically leaning his full weight onto Kankri.

“This is a human type of friendly. We could do a cultural exchange.” He tightened his grip on Kankri’s hip and pushed his shoulder down into the couch, twisting him off balance and nearly putting him on his back.

“No, a cultural exchange would be both of us sharing aspects of both our cultures. No, this is not. It’s different, it’s. No!” Kankri tried to push Cronus off him but only succeeded in sliding further down onto the couch.

“Come on chief, it’s called ‘friends with benefits’ among humans.” His smile had turned slimy. “I think you’ll like it if you give it a chance.”

Cronus reached for Kankri’s knee to try and drag him fully onto the couch, but Kankri used his legs to twist hard and push himself onto the floor. Unfortunately this unbalanced Cronus as well and they both went tumbling over the edge. He tried to scramble to his feet, but Cronus grabbed his ankle and brought him crashing back to the ground on his stomach. At this point Kankri was panting and terrified, not to mention he had smacked his face on the floor and his nose was bleeding. This could not be happening to him, he took a vow! He clutched the ground and sobbed a litany of “No! No no no, NO. NO! Stop it, Cronus, please!” His normal wordiness gave way to incoherence, his mind racing so quickly he could not think.

Cronus got on his knees and pulled Kankri closer to him, forcing himself between his legs. The angle was bad for Kankri; he could not push himself away or defend himself while shoved onto his front like this. Cronus used his considerable strength to drag Kankri practically into his lap and hold him down. Leaning his weight onto Kankri’s shoulder blade, Cronus slid his other hand up Kankri’s sweater and found the hem of his high-waisted leggings. He yanked them hard enough to pull them down to Kankri’s hips, despite him partially laying on them. It was terrifying, and gave Kankri such a burst of adrenalin that he redoubled his desperate efforts to wiggle and scramble away.

“Goddamn it!” Cronus lifted Kankri’s head by his hair and slammed it onto the floor. “Would you stop!” BANG “Fucking!” SLAM “Squirming!” He let go of Kankri’s hair and yanked him back by the hips fully into his lap. Kankri could feel the bulge in Cronus’ jeans between his thighs. “It’s like fucking the retard I swear to god.”

Kankri was hurt and dizzy, his mouth tasted like blood and bile, and he could not see for the tears streaming down his face. He felt Cronus get frustrated with the leggings and just tear a huge hole in them with his claws. He tried to reach back and push Cronus’ hands away, but for all the good it did he might as well have done nothing. He considered that; doing nothing. It would probably hurt less, and be over sooner.

The hand on his hip dug in so hard he knew he would have finger shaped bruises. There was some rustling, and the sound of a zipper. There was a hand between his legs, prodding at his exposed nook. Kankri wanted to die of shame and humiliation. His quiet sobbing was punctuated by hiccups, neither of which he could stop or control.

“It doesn’t have to be rough, buddy. It could be nice,” Cronus crooned. There was cold, wet slime on Kankri’s thighs. “I could make it good for you. Just be quiet and-” There was a tremendous crash from somewhere and Cronus startled hard enough to dig bloody furrows into Kankri’s skin with his claws. Kankri screamed and sobbed even harder.

Porrim snarled “How DARE YOU,” glowing and wrathful like an angel out of hell.

Cronus shoved Kankri off his lap and scrambled to his feet. “Jesus, babe, calm down, we were just playing! He wanted it, that’s how he likes it!” The moment he was free Kankri snapped his legs together and pulled his sweater down over himself as far as it would go.

Cronus’ bulge flopped obscenely outside his pants as he sidled toward the door. Porrim seemed frozen in horror for a moment, then she lunged at Cronus all teeth and claws, still clutching the bright red sweater she had brought with her. Her claws ripped into Cronus’ bicep when she caught him as he tried to dodge for the exit. Kankri cleared his vision in time to see her slam Cronus hard against the door frame with what looked like every intention of ripping his throat out.

“Porrim?!” Kankri gasped, half unsure of what was happening. She started to turn to him, and her momentary distraction allowed Cronus to painfully rip himself out of her grasp and sprint away, ricocheting off of walls in his desperation to escape. He left a trail of bloody purple smears down the hallway from where she had gouged his arm.

Porrim whipped around and made as though to give chase, but then she glanced back and saw Kankri clutching his face with both hands on the floor and resolved to find him later. The hiccups and soft crying had been joined by a hard tremor that ran through his body. Porrim gingerly approached Kankri and knelt on the floor next to him.

“Your door was open a bit.” Porrim said quietly by way of explanation. A stack of beautiful handkerchiefs suddenly appeared in Porrim’s hands. Kankri’s already diminutive frame seemed to become somehow smaller. He said “Don’t” so quietly he was nearly silent.

“I won’t touch you. Just use these when you feel ready.” The handkerchiefs sat between them in a neat pile, and Kankri straightened up more, trying to further adjust his abused clothing. He knew his face must be a disgusting mess of snot, tears, and mutant blood. Suddenly the filthy, damp feeling on his face became intolerable. He went through three handkerchiefs in quick succession before realizing that no amount of scrubbing was going to help him feel clean.

His gaze finally met Porrim’s and the miserable, repulsive feeling intensified. It was bad enough that Cronus… but now someone knew. Knew how stupid he was. How gullible and pathetic. Shameful.

“I am… very sorry to have gotten you involved in this… this…” Kankri lost the words. “You can go, if you like. I did not mean to…” and again the words escaped him.

“It’s not your fault, and I don’t want to leave.” The new sweater lay crumpled and abandoned near the door. “I wish I had come sooner.”

“What? No, of course it is my fault, why are you lying? And anyway, he did not actually… I am fine. I will be fine.” Kankri angrily scrubbed at his face with his hands a final time and stopped sniffling. It was pathetic, sitting on the floor sniveling when nothing had actually happened. When he had invited Cronus in, when he made friends with him in the first place. “I noticed, you know. I noticed some things were off, I just didn’t… Do not coddle me when we both know I did this to myself, it is condescending.”

“Kankri. Something _did_ happen, and it’s _not_ your fault. Even if he didn’t rape you,” Kankri flinched, but Porrim kept talking. “He tried to, and he still hurt you. That is not your fault.” Kankri truly had not expected Porrim to react this way. Pity maybe, and definitely a scolding _what were you thinking_ , but not this.

He covered his face with his hands again. “I have been so foolish.”

Porrim’s face crumpled and she nudged the handkerchiefs closer to him in lieu of patting him sympathetically. She picked one up herself to pat under her eyes, but Kankri’s face was mostly dry and clean by this point. A shower sounded good, and clean undamaged clothing sounded even better. The revelation that she did not blame him had him off balance, and it was suddenly important to him that she continue believing well of him.

“He said we were just...” _Just playing. He wanted it..._ “But I did not want that, I said no.” _And no, and no, and no._ “I tried to get away. I am not-” _Slut, whore, trash._ “He was lying.”

“Of course he was lying, anyone could see that. Even if you hadn’t said no, or even if you hadn’t tried to get away, that still wouldn’t have made it your fault. God, even if I or anyone else said it was your fault that wouldn’t make it true.” Anger rose up in her again so quickly she seemed to nearly choke on it. “It’s _no one’s_ fault but that _disgusting piece of filth’s_.” She strangled her handkerchief while trying not to snarl in frustration that it was just a piece of cloth and not seadweller neck.

Kankri gingerly patted her arm and wondered what else he was completely wrong about. Porrim smiled slightly and put her hand over his. They sat like that for a moment before Kankri drew away nervously. “I do not think I am ready for…” He trailed off helplessly, his face going slightly red.

“OH no, my dear, no. That wasn’t a pale come on at all, talk about inappropriate timing. I, unlike some trolls, do not take advantage of vulnerable people. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Porrim smiled reassuringly.

“I know you would not. Thank you. I just… Thank you.”

___

A few days later Kankri decided to search out Mituna. He had been spending a lot of time outside his room, mostly wandering alone or sitting quietly with Porrim. They were not moirails, but Kankri had finally acknowledged that their sort of out-of-quadrants-cahootship was important to him. She helped him remove the couch, and cleared away the smears of purple blood Cronus had left in his wake. Kankri was covered in scratches and bruises, but according to Porrim none of them seemed serious. Even if they were, he was already dead, and the concept of post-mortem injuries was confusing in and of itself. He had not thought about it before, when Mituna was the only one likely to be injured because of his disability and dangerous hobbies.

Neither of them had seen or heard from Cronus since, though Porrim was keeping a watchful eye out.

It turned out that Mituna was lounging near the river with his lusus, helmet off, ruminating over the remains of another broken skateboard. Kankri steeled himself for what would surely be an awkward, possibly triggering conversation.

“Hello Mituna.” Kankri shuffled awkwardly. He had never really approached Mituna for conversation first before.

“Hereith me without my asshole despector. The fucker you doing here?” He gestured expansively for Kankri to sit, flinging his splintered skateboard aside.

“I wanted to ask you about something.”

“I’mma fonst of fucking knowledge. Ha! Especuaially fucking knowlege!” He cackled with mirth at his own joke.

“How do you feel about Cronus?” Kankri could not quite look at him, but Mituna’s demeanor instantly changed from snickering to a scowl.

“That fishucker chumbuckest anhis stupid azz fake human bullspit. Again he broke my wicked fall down slat. Breakit on his nasty trash face next tame.” His twitchy gestures became more agitated. He started resentfully ripping up pieces of grass and flinging them into the water.

“Has he ever hurt you?” Kankri felt sick just thinking about it, but he could not stop remembering what Cronus had said while holding him down. It was eating at him enough that he did not even criticize Mituna’s use of seadweller slurs.

“Wader laughs at me when I talk a sick fall. That is fucking funny azz shit thoug. Blama! Grievous bodily harem.” He grinned and flapped his hand in the direction of the skateboard remains. Kankri breathed a sigh of relief, maybe nothing was wrong.

“You like hanging out with Cronus sometimes though, right? You have been friends for a very long time.” Even if nothing had happened, the idea of Mituna spending time isolated with Cronus in the future made Kankri uneasy.

“I’m sorry. Yeah, sorry. Were friends.” His body language was dower. “He thays buddy, pal, chiff, good friends. Firends with someone like thigs bladdering pain dambaged asshole. Spicy friendship styles, we’ve got itt goinon.” The annoyed, anxious energy seemed to bleed out of him, but it did not leave him happy or calm looking. In fact he looked closer to tears than anything else, though it was hard to tell with the mop of hair half covering his face.

“How do you mean, what is his style of friendship?” Mituna ruffled his hair so it stood up almost higher than his small inner horns. Kankri could tell if he still had his psionics he would be sparking.

“Human style friendth wit bullshit kind off fucking pals. I DON’T, his nasty crotch roatted friendshop is magic bulge shithiht and HE SAYHS bro buddy chief but I STAY don’t fuckingg fuck me and BAM muh fall downslut is broken AGAIN and ragHGHSTH…” During this explanation Mituna’s gesturing became so expansive and frantic that Kankri received a hard whap to the face, and he scrambled back to avoid more accidental smacking. Mituna realized what had happened mid-gesticulated-gibberish and he cringed slightly into himself. “I’m sorry.”

“No Mituna, _I’m_ sorry. I am sorry I left you alone when Cronus started hanging around me more, and I am sorry he hurt you.” There was a sick swooping sensation in his stomach as he forced these next words out. “He tried to hurt me like that too. That is not okay for him to do to us.” Mituna gaped at him, and then sputtered angrily, his earlier apologetic state gone in a flash.

“MOTHERFUCKER did WAHH?! And TYOU he?! MootherffFUCKCKCCHKTCKTHTHTH!” Mituna practically howled his indignation, his hands making a strangling, wrenching gesture on what was clearly an imaginary Cronus.

“Have you told anyone about this? Latula or Kurloz?”

“Pfffttth, nou, can’t he SAID can’t tell anyone soit doest matter what he dooes wime butt SPECIALALALY not Latula make her angry sadDHATE me he said and I NEED her, her hot ass in my hat mess life, NO.” Mituna continued mumbling about his matesprit under his breath, shaking his head.

“Mituna listen, I think you should tell them. You do not have to listen to Cronus, he is a liar. Tell Latula at least, she can help you. Porrim already knows what he tried with me and I do not want him to trick anyone else. Or continue hurting you.” Mituna gave a jerky nod and sighed heavily before flopping back in the grass, banging his head probably harder than was healthy in the process.

“I hope you will visit with me again sometimes like you used to. I will endeavor to play a more gracious host.” Kankri said contritely. Mituna cackled again and flailed slightly.

“Sthap being a douchebag you meat, gahahah, like assking the grass to stoph being green.” He ripped up a small chunk of dead brown grass and flung it at Kankri to illustrate, dirt and all.

“Ha... I suppose you might be right.”

**Author's Note:**

> The full prompt: "Cronus tries to rape Kankri but Porrim saves the day. Bonus: Kankri expects Porrim to victim-blame him for befriending Cronus but she doesn't. Extra-bonus: Kankri makes amends with fellow victim Mituna."
> 
> So far my summaries are all from the bad guys' points of view. This amuses me.
> 
> A huge thank you to my beta reader/filthy smutt peddler. They know who they are.
> 
> Wanna ask me stuff? Prompt me things? Yell at me about stuff? Come chat with me on my writing tumblr: [Tsunamayo Makizushi's Writing Tumblr](http://tsunamayo-makizushi.tumblr.com)
> 
> Kudos and comments are very appreciated, thank you for reading!


End file.
